Today is Thanksgiving in the United States. We live far from family, so we often spend the holiday a few hours away in a small mountain town. We eat at a restaurant, soak in hot springs and hike (no crowds at Hanging Lake on Thanksgiving!). The next day, there’s big Christmas season kickoff celebration complete with food, drinks, Santa, and an evening concert that ends with a tree-lighting and fireworks.
But in true Mercury-retrograde form, our travel plans went sideways at the last minute. There’s a huge snowstorm directly in our path. We wouldn’t dream of even trying to drive through that. So, our festive plans are canceled. We have an invitation to join some friends, and we live in a city with plenty to do.
Modern notions of gratitude suggest that we find the good in things, we determine what is worthy of being happy about, and by default, what isn’t worth being happy about. If I created this kind of gratitude list now, I might say things like I’m grateful for safety, for alternative plans, and so on. I’d determine what is “good” and, by default, imply what is “not good.” Taking time to reflect on what we’re grateful for is a positive activity, but honestly? I’m not a fan of this brand of gratitude, and here’s why.
Spiritually speaking, there is no “good” and “not good.” In genuine gratitude, it’s all “good.” Gratitude is loving what is, not picking out a list of our ego’s favorite things.
An authentic practice of gratitude is one of observation, not judgment. It’s an act of noticing. Within the act of noticing, there may be pleasure: I notice the snow-covered trees, and they are beautiful. Making a conscious effort to notice brings pleasure. Not the act of categorizing things as good or not.
It is okay to list the things you observe. In fact, studies show that a ritual for gratitude increases brain activity related to empathy and intuition. But there does not need to be judgment in our list.
So as you sit and reflect on all you are grateful for, consider this mantra: I am grateful for all that is, as it is. With that, I wish you a peaceful holiday season full of observations that bring a little bit of pleasure.